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a woman lies in bed
by
Nina Collins
,
May 12, 2022

5 Things You Should Know About Masturbation After 50

Let’s face the realities and figure out how to stay active.

Added to all this is the fact that as we age, orgasms become more elusive, for both men and women.

When was the last time you had a great orgasm? I hope it was this morning, but chances are, it wasn’t so recent, and we’re here to encourage you to change that. Orgasms are good for your health and mood, and everyone deserves to have them. For women over 50, there are a few complicating factors that can make orgasms slightly harder to come by. Let’s explore those reasons, and talk about some solutions:

Hopefully by now, in 2022, we all acknowledge The Orgasm Gap. The Orgasm Gap is a term that was coined to describe the very clear disparity in orgasms between men and women in heterosexual romantic relationships. In short: men finish much more often than women. And actually, gay women finish much more than straight women. Straight women are truly getting the short end of the stick sexually; there’s no doubt about it. While a healthy sex life should never be measured purely by how many orgasms individuals have (there are so many other ways to be satisfied sexually), the gender disparity here is clearly disheartening. Interestingly, there’s even an orgasm gap between women when they’re alone and when they’re with a male partner: a study found that 39% of women report they orgasm when they masturbate, compared to 6% during sex. That number changes from study to study, but it generally seems to be commonly accepted that roughly only 1 in 10 women have orgasms during sexual intercourse. Movies have lied to us, and frankly, we’ve lied to too many men, thus exacerbating the problem. Most men have no idea how little they are actually satisfying their partners.

Added to all this is the fact that as we age, orgasms become more elusive, for both men and women. This happens for many reasons: our ovaries, which are the source of 50% of our testosterone, become less active, decreasing the production of the sex hormone that is key to our libido. We also produce less estrogen, which leads to vaginal dryness and atrophy. Without proper lubrication, plump vaginal walls, and increased blood flow to the vagina, we’re both less interested in sex, and more likley to experience pain during intercourse. Oh, don’t forget a weakened pelvic floor! As we age, give birth, or gain weight, our valuable pelvic floor muscles stretch out, and that laxity makes it harder to experience the intense muscular contractions and release of tension that is paramount to achieving orgasm. 

Is it all bad news? Well, honestly it’s not great. But, there’s a happy side to everything: we have more time and privacy for sex as we age because the kids are no longer around as much, and hopefully, we’ve all gotten a little better at asking for what we want. So let’s face the realities and figure out how to stay active. 

Here are our 5 top tips for better orgasms within your control. The more sex you have (even with yourself), the better sex you’ll have (each act stimulates blood flow to your genitals to improve lubrication), so get cracking!

  1. Use lubricant, always! This is really non-negotiable at our age and any dude who doesn’t have some on hand is an unthinking lunk. There are so many great lubricants out there, whether water-based or oil or silicon-based options. Incorporate them into foreplay and let them do the work for you. Two of our faves are Uberlube and Sliquid.
  2. Consider vaginal estrogen. Ask your doctor about Vagifem, Estradiol cream,  and the Estring, all three topical prescription products that are easy and safe to use, and all three will help to increase lubrication and decrease discomfort. 
  3. Try something powerful. Did you know that The Magic Wand was the first-ever massage wand in the world?  Revered by millions, this is the vibrator to top all vibrators. Earlier in your life you may have thought it was too powerful, but right now it just may be the perfect solution! Time Magazine once included it on its list of the Most Influential Gadgets of ALL TIME.
  4. Don’t be afraid to explore new technology! Women our age are loving the new clitoral sucking vibrators like Tracy’s Dog The “OG” clitoral sucking vibrator, The Womanizer, or The Satisfyer. Life-changing, we hear.
  5. Do it with your partner. Men often have trouble getting off too as they age, and a good session of mutual masturbation can be lots of fun and is completely normal. Much more common than you think – don’t be shy!

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