Being uncomfortable and pushing yourself is a positive. Ask yourself honestly how many times have you not gone for the job, the relocation, or the promotion because it challenged your comfort zone?
As we approach 50, many may think about slowing down, or perhaps opting for a little more security. I took the opposite path and dove head first into founding a start-up, starting my first company at the age of 47! I was given a challenge and saw an opportunity to not only help myself but an entire population, and I have to admit that had I been given this opportunity 20 years ago I don't think I would have been successful. I think I needed first to experience the various roles and uncertainty that brought me to where I am today. Life’s challenges not only helped me hone in on my strengths, but also made me more resilient, which is definitely needed in the roller coaster experience of being an entrepreneur.
My advice is to start. Nike had it right when they said, "just do it." One of the things I’ve learned along my journey is that sometimes you have to dive right in, surround yourself with supportive people who will be honest with you, goal stack (smaller goals can add up to a big dream), and lastly, believe in and value yourself.
I turned 50 this year. How many lifecycle events I have witnessed over the past 4 decades? Too many to count. I often questioned how I was to measure my life without having the major events like marriage and children. Well I did figure it out, and in my case it meant throwing the conventional rulebook or “story” out the window. You have a path and your age does not determine where you should be at any point along that journey. Your milestones will look completely different from everyone else’s. And that’s ok, even beautiful. Celebrate your wins; whether weekly, monthly or yearly, and remember that it’s just your definition of a win that matters. In my 20’s if someone had told me that I was going to be a founder of a start up in the healthcare industry in my late 40s, I would have laughed. “What?! I am going to be a Hollywood filmmaker.” That was the dream, the plan, the course I set out for. I wouldn't trade my California years for anything because the experience helped shape who I am today. There are times you may want the clock to speed up or get to the next chapter. Allow yourself to be in the moment; you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Let go and be open to what life presents. Stop comparing what your life should look like and embrace what you have, let go of the “story” and welcome an adventure. This pandemic is a perfect example of something unplanned that can take us off course. The fear of what we cannot control can either paralyze you or propel you into creating something life changing. You may be trying to knock down a door when right next to you is an open window. I realized the more I held on to old beliefs, the more I was sabotaging myself. I couldn't imagine not being in a creative field, but I discovered that what truly motivated and fulfilled me, is helping others. Once I let go of what I thought made me happy, it opened a world full of opportunities. Letting go can be freeing, rewarding and scary, I bring that up in lesson 4.
The hardest decisions are ones that might separate you from a pack. You stand alone and wonder, am I doing the right thing? Am I being true to myself? There were many times I just didn’t feel like I fit in, and that discomfort started at a very young age. I was the only Jewish kid in my elementary class and my mom embraced Judaism with fervor. She brought in a menorah and dreidels for Chanukah, and while all the other kids had Easter baskets my mother brought in the ever flavorful matzah to teach about Passover. I sunk down in my chair and wanted to disappear. I didn't want to be different. Add the disruption of moving four times before I turned fourteen for my father’s work. Between religion and relocation, I always felt like an outsider. And yet, my parents taught me to be resilient, to take risks and stand up for what I believed in. If I didn't have this foundation and parents who encouraged me to be proud of who I am and to not fear veering from a path, I don’t know if I would have had the internal strength to launch a business at this stage of my life. It takes courage to trailblaze and venture down an unchartered road. Each of us has a purpose and a mission that another cannot complete. Take time to discover your native genius and all your uniqueness.
Being uncomfortable and pushing yourself is a positive. Ask yourself honestly how many times have you not gone for the job, the relocation, or the promotion because it challenged your comfort zone? The unknown is scary and it’s normal to have doubts. The fear that you might not like the changes in front of you, or the possibility that you might not succeed, can keep you stuck in your tracks.
Make the decision to step out of the safety of the known and try something new. Why? Because this is where growth comes from. It’s like a muscle; you need to keep working it so that it can grow stronger. The challenge is there in front of you for a reason, to help you move forward, and you have all the tools to get through anything that is presented to you.
I thought by this age I would have it all figured out, but I realized that is not the point. The point is to keep searching, keep showing up and keep being open. It is not about knowing all the answers, it is about the journey to discover all of the roads you can venture.
There is a lifetime of nexts for you to enjoy.
This is what the myriad paths to 50 taught me. It’s taken me all this time to feel comfortable in the discomfort of not knowing what tomorrow will bring. But, it’s truly been in those moments of uncertainty that I feel the greatest sense of possibility.
Melissa Blatt is the founder of indipop, a marketplace that offers high-value, simple and affordable healthcare for the self-employed. Curious about healthshare plans from indipop? Within minutes, you can be matched with the best fit for your budget and needs. To get started, visit their website.
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