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Revel HQ
March 5, 2021

Poly Love

A Q&A with 52-Year-Old Reveler Yvette Robinson

I saw them in a scene during my first time in a kink club. I watched in awe of how palpable their love was, and was smitten.

Current Relationship Status?

Partnered in a poly relationship with a man/woman couple. I’m with the woman and am in it for the long haul.

Have you always had multiple partners?

I’ve only in the past ever been with one person at a time. This is my first time in a poly relationship structure.

Do you consider yourself gay/straight/bi…?

Lesbian. 100% Vagitarian.

Your current partner is married, so she has another partner. Do you also date other people?

No, though we have talked about what that might look like in the future if it were to blossom somehow. I have no interest in that though. I feel quite satisfied.

How Did You Meet?

I saw them in a scene during my first time in a kink club. I watched in awe of how palpable their love was, and was smitten.

What Do Your Family & Friends make of this arrangement? Is this something you’re public about?

Over a year ago when I told my mom that I’d fallen in love with K, I didn't bring up the fact that she is married. I didn’t think it was worth trying to explain how organically perfect the situation was for me. As time when on though, I became more uncomfortable about denying our whole story. About how lovely and unusual it was. I could no longer stand leaving J out of the picture, not just because it was lying, but because I wanted her to know how deeply loved I am by the whole family. I wanted her to know how close we'd all become and that J plays a huge role in my happiness and growth. I needed NOT to deny him for so many reasons. He makes things possible because he loves K and he loves that she loves me. That's how huge his love is for her. And it's genuine compersion*. My metamour* is the real deal.

My friends have had mixed responses to the situation. Let's face it, not a lot of people can wrap their heads around the arrangement.  "He's straight. You're a lesbian, right? What?"

How did your mom react?

She was astonished at first. She asked, "Wait. So HAPPILY married? With a MAN? But you don' know...with HIM? I'm confused, Yivee. Aren't you jealous? Is it enough to share?"  She's 75 years old. I was afraid she'd treat K differently, but she hasn't.

Now I am able to freely say, "Mama, I am going out with K and J tonight, and I will be staying over." It's really freeing.

How often do you see her? Do you usually go to her place or does she go to you? What does a typical night together look like?

I don't live with them and I usually see her once a week. I only go to their place because I live with my mother and brother and K and J have a 16-year-old daughter at home.

A typical night at their house is regular life stuff. Watching a movie, doing puzzles or art, having a meal (J is a REALLY AMAZING cook!). If I stay over, I am in the bedroom in the basement. Total privacy and retreat time if needed. K will visit me for snuggle and intimate time. Sometimes she falls asleep with me then she goes upstairs to sleep with J.


*A metamour is someone who is your partner's partner, but with whom you have no romantic relationship. This can be your partner's other boyfriend or girlfriend or your partner's spouse.

*Compersion (uncountable) is the feeling of joy one has experiencing another's joy, such as in witnessing a toddler's joy and feeling joy in response.

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